Este autor preguntó a sus lectores cuál era la clave para un matrimonio exitoso. Alrededor de 1500 personas contestaron y el autor condenso la información en este artículo.
1. Esten juntos por las razones correctas
2. Ten una expectativa realista de la relación y el romance
3. El factor más importante en la relación no es la comunicación sino el respeto
4. Hablen de todo abiertamente, especialmente si duele (por ejemplo de lo que no nos gusta del otro y de lo que sí. Los secretos te dividen y separan).
5. Una relación saludable se compone de dos individuos saludables
6. Dense su espacio
7. Tú y tu pareja van a cambiar de forma de ser con el paso del tiempo, acepta y aprovecha esos cambios.
8. Aprende a luchar no criticando a tu pareja, pero si hablando de la característica que no te guste de ella. No culpes al otro o a ti mismo. Lucha sin hacer sentir inferior al otro. No ignores lo que no le gusta a tu pareja.
9. Aprende a perdonar
10. Las pequeñas cosas se añaden a las grandes cosas. Tómate el tiempo para convivir con tu pareja en la hora de la comida, la cena, porque al final de cuentas es quien estara contigo al final de los tiempos.
11. El sexo importa y mucho.
12. Se práctico y creativo en las reglas en tu relación.
13. Aprende a montar las olas. Las relaciones no son siempre miel sobre hojuelas y hay que aprender a lidiar con los malos momentos.
Algunos fragmentos que me gustaron:
I have been married for 44 years (4 children, 6 grandchildren). I think the most important thing that I have learned in those years is that the love you feel for each other is constantly changing. Sometimes you feel a deep love and satisfaction, other times you want nothing to do with your spouse; sometimes you laugh together, sometimes you’re screaming at each other. It’s like a roller-coaster ride, ups and downs all the time, but as you stay together long enough the downs become less severe and the ups are more loving and contented. So even if you feel like you could never love your partner any more, that can change, if you give it a chance. I think people give up too soon. You need to be the kind of person that you want your spouse to be. When you do that it makes a world of difference.– Chris
You can work through anything as long as you are not destroying yourself or each other. That means emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually. Make nothing off limits to discuss. Never shame or mock each other for the things you do that make you happy. Write down why you fell in love and read it every year on your anniversary (or more often). Write love letters to each other often. Make each other first. When kids arrive, it will be easy to fall into a frenzy of making them the only focus of your life…do not forget the love that produced them. You must keep that love alive and strong to feed them love. Spouse comes first. Each of you will continue to grow. Bring the other one with you. Be the one that welcomes that growth. Don’t think that the other one will hold the relationship together. Both of you should assume it’s up to you so that you are both working on it. Be passionate about cleaning house, preparing meals, and taking care of your home. This is required of everyone daily, make it fun and happy and do it together. Do not complain about your partner to anyone. Love them for who they are. Make love even when you are not in the mood. Trust each other. Give each other the benefit of the doubt always. Be transparent. Have nothing to hide. Be proud of each other. Have a life outside of each other, but share it through conversation. Pamper and adore each other. Go to counseling now before you need it so that you are both open to working on the relationship together. Disagree with respect to each other’s feelings. Be open to change and accepting of differences. Print this and refer to it daily.
https://qz.com/884448/every-successful-relationship-is-successful-for-the-same-exact-reasons/
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